Henry is a plant that I have had for something like 8 years and when he is healthy he blooms with lovely white flowers. The problem is he is not healthy often--I tend to forget to water him. While I was studying in Ireland my merciful Grandmother took Henry in, nourished and loved him, and he thrived under her care. Unfortunately, I came home and Henry came back to me. When he was returned to me he had lovely flowers and beautiful green leaves. Now look at him. The picture actually doesn't do full justice to the state he was in because I took the shot shortly after I had trimmed away all his dead leaves. He had been delegated to a room that isn't used much and that is where most of the forgetting-to-water-him trouble truly stems (I thought the morning sun in the room would be good for him). Now, though, I have moved him to my bedroom where I will hopefully be more mindful of watering him. Another possible problem would be my continually calling him Harry. I don't know why I do this (obviously he doesn't even look like a Harry) but it is an on-going problem--maybe in a way similar to some music helping plants to grow calling them by the wrong name works to stunt their growth (I promise I'm working on it Henry). Anyway, I wonder if this could be why I am still single: I haven't yet learned to care for a plant so why on earth would I be trusted with the care of another human being (although I would hardly be responsible for watering another human being). With this argument in mind I have decided to take a new interest in helping my Henry to thrive. Once I get that under control I will branch on to a pet (probably a fish or something--that counts right?--probably doesn't because it doesn't actually require more care than a plant) and then who knows what will follow.
Have you ever seen the Sandra Bullock movie 28 Days? Well if not the premise of the movie is a drunken Sandra (and a bunch of other drunks or addicts) goes to rehab and after many ups and downs is eventually "cured." It is perhaps not one of the greatest movies ever made but it was a Sandra Bullock movie and so I dutifully saw it. As the group is leaving rehab they are given a set of instructions to follow before they are allowed to enter into a relationship with another person. Step 1. Get a plant. When you can properly take care of a plant you can move on to Step 2. Get a pet. Once you can properly take care of a pet you are prepared to enter into a relationship with another person without falling down drunk again. So I present to you Henry or the reason why I am still single: